Loving Children unconditionally

Recently I’ve subscribe to Positive Parenting weekly newsletter. Okay, I know some might says that I’m too anxious/kiasu/obsess over Gabby upbringing or being a ‘perfect’ parent. The funny thing is I’m used to think about my friends (with kids) too. It is only come to this stage of life then you realize you do need quite a lot of external advice to keep your life in ‘sane’.

To me, raising a child is like an art. It require a person to equips with the knowledge, patience, experience and most important, LOVE. Gabby is my 1st born, hence to increase my experience and lessen ‘the pain’, is to read on related topic and talk to experienced parents. So this begins my journey on my new found reading topic.

Back to the subject, there is a column in the weekly newsletter that caught my attention.

7 Helpful Reminders on Loving Children UNCONDITIONALLY*
1. Children are children.
2. Children tend to act like children.
3. Much of childish behavior is unpleasant.
4. If I do my part as a parent and love them despite their childish behavior, they will be able to mature and give up childish ways.
5. If I love them only when they please me(conditional love) ... it will make them feel insecure, damage their self-image and actually prevent them from developing better self-control and exhibit more mature behavior.
6. If I love them only when they meet my requirements or expectations, they will feel incompetent. Insecurity, anxiety and low self-esteem will plague them.
7. If I love them unconditionally, they will feel good about themselves and be comfortable with themselves. They will then be able to control their anxiety and in turn, their behavior, as they grow into adulthood.
* Reference: Positive Parenting Digest, A weekly publication of Institute of Advanced Parentology

This is a reminder to me that no matter how ‘unpleasant’ Gabby can be at times, she is still my beloved child. My love for her can never be lessened but increased over the time, just like GOD love for us is unconditional and will never change.

Updates: Diet in school

Gabby has made some improvement on her diet. She has finally eaten half of the tuna mayo sandwich during tea break yesterday. This comment may seem strange to some parents but Gabby is a selective eater. According to the teacher, since day 1, she had been refusing food like fish, vegetables (all kinds), mushroom, honeydew, watermelon, apple with skin, etc….. . She only consumes carbo and soup (her favourite and will finish by herself). As she is still new to the environment (coming to 2 weeks), the teachers have been lenient towards her for the time being.

According to the VP, Gabby was arranged to sit with the peers that enjoy food a lot. They hope with the peer pressure, it will motivate her to eat and it works. She had been observing her peers finishing the sandwiches fast and asking for 2nd and even 3rd helpings. In turn, she starts her sandwich by tearing off the edge of the bread (which has the most tuna flakes) and scrubbed as much tuna off the remaining of the bread before she ate it. She also drank ¼ cup of milo.

According to the VP, kids like Gabby, who is a selective eater will eventually improves once they reached Kindergarten. As they needed more energy for their daily activities, they will be eating more and better. Another factor is they are constantly been feed with the food that the CC gives, it’s only a matter of time before their body senses (taste, visual, smell) will get use to it. So there is hope for all selective eaters, so long we parents don’t give up. For me, I’m more relaxed than before. At least Gabby had been eating sweets, chocolate and many others things on many occasion. I believe the important of having balance diet with enjoyment. So Gabby, Gambetta!

Funny hats

We were @ Ikea Tampines 2 wks ago, caught Gabby putting on her fav hats.

The Birthday cake

The Fruit basket

These days, whenever she get change to new sets of clothes, first day she would do is to admire herself infront of the mirror. Did I also mentioned tossing her hair too?

Comm Book

Finally the Teacher-Parent Communication book (comm. book) is here. This book supposed to be in Gabby’s bag since day 1 with Kinderland but the centre has run of stock until 2 days ago.

The comm. book is quite professionally designed. Why I said, is because most CC give an ordinary blue notebook which you can get from Popular or other bookstores. The CC will paste a label with info like: CC name, Child name and class. Well over here they give this
On the 1st page, it has a note to parent explaining some of the features that can be found in the book

At the end of each month, there is a checklist in different areas of the child development . Teacher suppose to check the 'bigger' or 'smaller' leaf at the side of each box to indicate the progress of your child. The 'bigger' leaf signifies that the skill has been 'Observed' and the 'Smaller' leaf indicates that your child is 'Working on it'. Also parents are suppose to participate in the exchange by providing specific information about your child based on the questions asked posed in 'Word to parents'. We, the parents are suppose to write our observations in "From parents to the teacher' section. I like this section as this allows me to know the progress of my child, but on the hand, it means more writing.


A copy of daily schedule is pasted at the back of the book.

Our 1st Picnic @ Jacob Ballas Children's Garden

Sorry guys for the very late post. Our very 1st picnic @ Jacob Ballas Children's Garden.

The attendees are Joanne and Lycia, The Loks, Joey and The Hons. We met at the entrance @ abt 5ish and choose a spot near the pond. By then, everyone were ready for the fun.

Our spread

The lovely princesses

Joanne and Lycia

The 2 'Js', Joelle and Joey.

The HONs would like to thank Joanne for inviting us to this wonderful outing and we look forward to the next one.

Gabby has left the previous CC for good and started her 1st day @ Kinderland on 1st July 2009.

We had prepared Gabby weeks ahead that she be transferring to another CC by doing the following:
1. Brought her to the new CC to play on Saturday for the past weeks.
2. Whenever we pass by NTUC, we would tell her that her new school is located on the 3rd floor.
3. Told her that she be going to a new environment, meeting new friends and teachers.

The day has come. Our Princess Hon is ready for school. As a tradition, my mum would give her a red packet on the 1st day of school as signify for good start in the new environment.

Her new uniform, t-shirt with shorts (exercise attire) for the morning. After shower, she would be changed into her long sleve with track pants.
Back view

Getting ready for school

On the way to Kinderland

We stayed for an hour and left just before the lesson starts @ 9ish. We carried her and told her that we be going away for awhile (a white lie) and will be back later to bring her home. Gabby cried, of course, at the very natural state. We almost didn’t make it for the lift, cause of Gabby’s separation anxiety.

By about 1ish, the chinese teacher called me and told me that Gabby has stopped crying shortly after we left, not even a sob after that (I told you she is a smart girl, she wouldn’t waste her tears for nothing). She also told me that Gabby has been quite attentive during lesson and has no problem with the teachers and classmates. Even the vice-principal was surprise that she can adapt to the new environment fast. I told the teacher that it could be due to the preparation as mentioned above and this is the 2nd CC for her. Anyway, as her name say, Gabrielle, which means GOD is her strength (Hebrew). In whatever things she does, GOD’s strength and wisdom would always be with her. Amen.

We were very pleased that she is doing fine and continue our date with a peace of mind. :P We were there @ abt 4:30 to bring her home and Missy Gab was having her tea. So we waited till abt 4:45 and our darling Princess was done and was happy to see us. The assistance teacher told us that she needed to change Gabby to her ‘home’ clothes and diaper before she left for the day. (Think it’s the tradition of Kinderland practice but I could be wrong.) Also was told to bring a bottle of lotion so that they can apply some on her after the shower.

So far The Hons experience with Kinderland is quite good but it’s too early to tell. Let’s hope things stayed the way it is.